"Ugh, I can’t read this. This is nonsense."
"I thought you said you could read Dwarf-script, no problem. I asked you if you could read Dwarf-script, and you were really, really snotty about saying yes, you could read Dwarf-script."
"Well, I can read Dwarf-script, and what I’m telling you is that whatever the hell is written, in Dwarf-script, on this scroll, is grade-A non-Dwarf bullshit. Why did you even buy this without checking with Katie first?"
"Because it was cheap, I was in a hurry, and I might have also been a little drunk, but I don’t see how that last one enters into it."
"Gods, Bob, I would just like one thing to go right on this trip. One."
"Well, we did manage to get passage on a ship heading to south to Baycity before the winter storms roll in without a hitch."
"Okay, I’d like two things to go right on this trip."
"If it is a legit treasure-map—"
"That’s a big if, Bob."
"If it is a legit treasure-map, then our last leg will still be profitable, and we can show up in Plainstown in the spring with a load of gold."
"Just read the damn thing to me, Jenny."
"Okay. ‘I hat your face your mooooom’s an orc, fuck you bro your fahther couldn’t navigate with two compasses and an astrolabe. I’ve seen beater moves on a dead mongoose, your mom,’ uh, that bit repeats three times. It goes ‘your mom your mom your mom’—"
"Oh my gods."
"It’s in Barfight."
"You bought a treasure-map written in Barfight."
"This is pretty epic even for you, Bob. Wait, how do you not speak Barfight, Jenny? You grew up in Plainstown."
"Not everybody who grew up in Plainstown speaks Barfight, Steve."
"I had really overprotective parents, okay? And I speak a little Barfight."
"If you didn’t recognize ‘I hate your face,’ I don’t think you do."
"Oh, go to hell."
"Okay, then, prove it."
"Fine. I’m only here to use the restroom.”
"Jenny, you can’t say you speak a little Barfight when the only thing you know how to say in it is ‘I don’t speak Barfight.’ I think that might be the definition of not being able to say you speak Barfight."
"Who made you the Barfight Police, Steve? And how do you speak it so well, anyway?"